Some very nice Things .Enjoy

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Pirates:
Every enemy I met I've annihilated!
With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.
I look THAT much like your fiancée?
Killing you would be a justifiable homicide!
Then killing you must be a justifiable fungicide.
I'll skewer you, like a sow at a buffet!
When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet.
Throughout the Caribbean, my great deeds are celebrated.
Too bad they're all fabricated.
You can't match my witty repartee!
I could, if you would use some breath spray.
When your father first saw you, he must have been mortified.
At least mine can be identified.
Would you like to be buried or cremated?
With your around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.
I'll leave you devastated, mutilated & perforated.
Your order alone makes me aggravated, agitated & infuriated.
You're the ugliest monster ever created!
If you don’t count all the ones you've dated.
I have never seen such clumsy swordplay.
You would have, but you were always running away.
Heaven preserve me! You look like something that's died!
The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
En garde! Touché!
Oh, that is so cliché!
I can't rest 'til you've been exterminated!
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.
I'll hound you night & day.
Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!
Coming face to face with me must leave you petrified!
Is that your face? I thought it was your backside.
Rene Rottingham:
My attacks have left the entire island depopulated
With your breath, I'm sure they all suffocated.
You have the sex appeal of a Shar-Pei.
I look THAT much like your fiancée?
When I'm done, your body will be rotted putrefied!
Then killing you must be a justifiable fungicide.
Your lips look like they belong on the catch of the day.
When I'm done with YOU, you'll be a boneless fillet.
You're a disgrace to your species, you're so undignified!
At least mine can be identified.
I can't tell which of my traits has you the most intimidated.
Your order alone makes me aggravated, agitated & infuriated.
I have never lost a melee!
You would have, but you were always running away.
Nothing on this earth can save your sorry hide!
The only way you'll be preserved is in formaldehyde.
You'll find I'm dogged & relentless to my prey!
Then be a good dog. Sit! Stay!
Your stench would make an outhouse cleaner irritated!
Then perhaps you should switch to decaffeinated.
Your mother wears a toupee!
Oh, that is so cliché!
My skills with a sword are highly venerated.
Too bad they're all fabricated.
Never before have I faced someone so sissified.
Is that your face? I thought it was your backside.
Nothing can stop me from blowing you away!
I could, if you would use some breath spray.
I give you a choice. You can be gotted or decapitated.
With your around, I'd prefer to be fumigated.
Your looks would make pigs nauseated.
If you don’t count all the ones you've dated.